Category: Impact Of Childhood Experiences (Core wounds)
The Handless Maiden - the pattern of initiation and descent
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2025-06-24 19:12:31
In The Handless Maiden, a Brothers Grimm tale, a poor miller is approached by the devil-in-disguise who offers wealth in exchange for “what stands behind your mill.” Believing it to be an apple tree, the man agrees, only to discover that his daughter was standing there.
The Exiled Inner Child
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2025-05-20 19:31:11
There is a deep and often unspoken grief in the loss of the little boy or girl inside each of us - the one who once looked at life with wide-eyed innocence, full of hopes, dreams, and pure-hearted belief in possibility. There comes a moment in the journey of individuation when we realize that the child we once were has been exiled - out of necessity.
The trauma complex & dissociation
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2025-02-06 18:56:55
Marcus West describes the trauma complex as a deeply ingrained, unconscious psychological structure formed in response to early relational trauma. When the natural multiplicity of self-states becomes fragmented, the psyche splits, creating a dissociated part of the self that remains frozen in the emotional and physiological state of the trauma, while other aspects are exiled to avoid overwhelming distress.
The Body as Personal Shadow
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2024-08-06 18:59:23
Instinctual drives and violent affective responses are deeply embedded in the body, representing the personal shadow that threatens psychological stability and requires defense mechanisms.
Narcissism: Shame & narcissistic vulnerabilities.
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2023-04-04 00:17:16
The word narcissism is so easily thrown around these days, but is the wounding and vulnerability that lies underneath this pattern really understood? We should look at it as a continuum. We need healthy narcissism to manifest our creative endeavours in the world - Freud spoke about primary narcissism of young children which is a healthy natural expression of Self, not indicative of a problem, but needs to be mirrored by the caregivers of the child. Narcissistic personality disorder is caused by a severe early injury to healthy self-love or self-esteem, where this healthy narcissism has been damaged.
The psychologically absent mother
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2021-07-09 03:32:37
A psychologically absent mother “cannot recognize or support the child’s psychic aliveness and this denies permission for the child to exist or be separate.” Whether outright or subtle, maternal rejection, emotional neglect or a lack of secure attachment arrests the healthy development of the child.
The Un-belonging Complex
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2021-03-26 23:56:48
As human beings we have an inherent need to belong, whether with an intimate partner, to a family, friendship circle or community with shared values and experiences, and in due course to ourselves, our purpose and innate potential, and ultimately to Earth and the Cosmos.
The Handless Maiden: A father's brutalization of his daughter
Author: Denise Grobbelaar
Date Published: 2020-05-19 06:26:02
The horrific image of a father cutting off the hands of his daughter belongs only in fairytales, or does it? To be without hands is to be disempowered, helpless and dependent on others...